


A Hand to Hold in Time

by writinglangst8703



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: AU, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Other, castiel - Freeform, castiel novak - Freeform, soulmate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8513191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writinglangst8703/pseuds/writinglangst8703
Summary: A Destiel Story based on this tumblr post:http://transgenderdirk.tumblr.com/post/152503912117/the-anime-man-sadspacesharks-dissypooOriginal idea goes to the original creator here, but the story and etc. is mine.*Story Cover by Me*





	1. The One with the Name

Imagine this.

You are eighteen years old but you have lived on this earth for thirty years, seven months, and eleven and a half days. 

That's how it goes. You eat,breathe, and survive on this measly little planet like any normal person would. But come that eighteenth level, it just stops.

That is....until you find a soulmate. 

You see, there's a process to this. Your life goes on until the miraculous age of eighteen, but then life kicks you so hard in the nuts that your entire aging process ceases. You go through life as an eighteen year old, holding on to dear life to your wounded soul, until someone comes along to patch you up.

A soulmate.

That perfect person that supposedly holds the other half that you never knew was missing until they were there.

A soulmate. Define by Google as a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

It could be your best friend, your dog, heck even the pizza man. But your soulmate.

They hold the key to your heart, but also the key to your future. Without them life would just keep on keeping on in the size 14's of an eighteen year old.

That's the jist of it. You don't age, until you meet that perfect someone.

 

You have met some people who have never aged. They are the unlucky ones who date back to the Babylonian Era. Everyone prayed for them. 

There are people who find their soulmates early, and never even stopped aging. They are the lucky ones. 

If you weren't an Early Bloomer, you were always worried. Everyone saw it. Your teachers, your friends, your mom, your cat. It wasn't something to go unnoticed. 

That's why there were so many 18 year olds out on the street. Just... looking, at everyone, really. Trying to see into their eyes. That's how it's done. You look into their eyes. The window to the soul, it's said. 

It's said that when you find your soulmate, your heart jumps, your breath hitches, and you feel like you could be walking on the clouds. No one ever talked about how hard it was to get that feeling, though. To find that perfect someone. 

Most of the teens on the street were well known. Well, "teens." Most of them were far from it. 

Charlie Bradbury. Technically 24, still walks around with the spunk of her 18 year old self. 

Gabriel Novak. Looks like a typical, high spirited, carefree teenager, but that was far from the truth. His real age, a whopping 37, was hidden from view. He spent too much time playing pranks to care. 

Dean Winchester. If you looked in the dictionary, you would see his name and face under Bad Influence. He was stuck in his 18 year old body as well, but he tried to hide it, or pretend to not care. But everyone knew he did. If you lived with him, you would hear him pacing the floor to his room, or mutter out the names of the girls in his class.

 

Take that one chick, Lisa, for example. You'd dated her for several years. Almost had a kid together, too. But it's a little more complicated than that.

See, Lisa aged. Which was what initially led Dean to believe that he had found his soulmate. Dean didn't age, but he and Lisa had just assumed that Dean was one of the guys that just naturally looked young into their later years.

But not was such the case.

As it would have been, Lisa was aging not because her soulmate was presumably Dean; but more so because her soulmate was the mailman that came everyday.

Dean had been officially kicked in the nuts by life, twice.

Lisa was 3 year old news though. And Dean had long since....sort of...forgot about her.

 

Dean had managed to score a job with Angel Corp. it was some construction company. He didn't really like it as much as he hoped, but it paid the bills. Besides, the drowning noise lulled his mind to a calm state. The noise smothered his worries of being immortal. 

Dean would run over the names daily, utterly confused why none of them were his other half. Every girl he could think of. He even began to say random names. Any female name that came to mind. 

He would always look up to see the pretty girls pass by, disappointed that they had no effect. That's when he would give a grunt before going back to his droning job. 

Dean enjoyed how the ground shook everyday. It sparked his imagination, if you catch my drift. But the face was always blank. 

He could never fill it in. At the end of every day, he would slip on his flannel and leather jacket, which were far too hot to work in, and make the drive home to his fairly large apartment. 

He almost had enough to buy a house. Just barely. But he was going to wait on that until he found his soulmate. 

Every night, he would add a name to his ever growing list, letting Metallica play in the background.

 

As 'One' played, he started to think too hard about it all.

One.

The one.

He needed to find THE ONE. There was no way Dean was going to settle for immortality. Call him crazy, but he WANTED to grow old.

'Watch my girl be somewhere in Japan or the other side of the world.' he thought glumly.

There went another thought. Maybe he needed to start saying foreign names.

 

"Ada, Angeline, Bionca, Cassandra, Cassidy." Dean sighed, writing down the names. 

The song cut short, making Dean finally get out of the chair to make dinner. "Clarissa, Delia." He mumbled, stirring the Macaroni. It was his favorite. 

"Felica, Metzli." He said, getting ready for bed. Tomorrow was his day off. He would spend it like he always did. Wandering the streets, looking into the eyes of every girl visible. 

The next day finally came. "Tessa, Arlin." He mumbled, wandering the boardwalk. He gave up with the foreign names a while ago, going back to more common names from a baby book he borrowed from the library. 

"What about Charlie?" He asked himself, thinking of the red head. "Nah. I've known her for years." He muttered, buying a thing of Cotton candy from the fair. Like he was going to eat that. 

Dean spent the whole day at the Carnival at the boardwalk. Being Sullen, as usual. 

Dean spent the whole day watching girls go by. Some alone, some attached to their guys arm like their life depended on it. When was that going to happen to him? 

Dean spent the whole night reading over his list, and the book. "Nothing." He yawned, finally getting back to sleep. Dean dreamt of strange things. A coffee cup. A trench coat. Blue eyes.

 

Dean woke up to screaming. Ahem, excuse me. The alarm screaming, more specifically. He groaned hard into his pillow, smacking his hand over the button. The green eyed man had forgotten to turn off the alarm, so now he was up at 4:30 in the morning when he didn't need to be.

This was beginning to become a horrible day.

Memories of his dream faded as Dean slid out of the quilt's warm embrace, his bare feet meeting chilling cold hardwood floors.

"Son of a bitch..." He grumbled to himself, running a lazy hand through his bed head. 

"Amelia... Lynda..." He murmured, getting to his feet. "Lily...Bella..." Dean slipped on a semi-clean pair of jeans, deciding shirts weren't necessary right now. He continued slumping to his kitchen, routine routine routine.

"Hannah...Melody..." He sighed heavily, swinging open the fridge and grabbed a can of beer.

So what if he was 'eighteen' and it was only 4:37, he could drink if he wanted too.

"Abigail.... Annamaria..." Dean snorted a little to himself at that last one.

"Casey....Cassiopeia....Cas...."

 

Dean jumped at the name slightly. "Cas." He said again, loving the ecstatic feeling the name gave him. "Cas? Cas what?" He said, skin crawling with enjoyment. 

He took another swig of his drink. "Cas." He smiled, looking outside. The sun wasn't even up. He was going to say the name again, but then his little brother texted him. 

Sam Winchester, Dean's little brother, four years younger than him, looked the age he was supposed to. He has Jess. 

"Cas must be so pretty." He snorted, finishing the rest of his drink. 

"Cas."

"Cas."

"Cas." 

It was all he could say as he dug through a pile of clean clothes. He was anxious. 'What if I meet her?' He thought, trying to decide between a dark blue shirt, of his favorite forest green to wear under his flannel. 

He always wore that flannel. 6:07 came by. The decision hung over his head as he made bacon. He hoped Cas liked bacon. And macaroni. 

"Cas...what?" He muttered, trying to decide on a last name. That was near impossible. 

"Cas Smith?" 

The name gave no jolt at all.

 

Dean didn't let the lack of jolt bother him, because he was so tickled with joy at the moment that he felt nothing was going to get to him.

 

He shoved his shirt over his head, shrugging on his flannel and leather jacket. Make sure to pop the collar.

"Cas Cas Cas. Beautiful, beautiful, Cas." Dean chippered gleefully, swinging open his door, and out into the day.


	2. Lost and Found

Cas followed his routine. It's been his routine for years. Wake up at 6 in the morning, take his shower, get dressed, leave for work. Work started at 8, but somehow he always managed to be early. 

Unlocking the door to the little shop he worked in, he stopped a minute to take in the cold air. He loved the cold. Or what you could get of it in California. Today, Castiel happened to be thirty-two years old, six months, and twenty-seven days. Twenty-seven as of four A.M. This morning. 

Castiel Novak, in case his name wasn't known. Castiel fumbled with the door, pushing it open and flipping the switches on for the lights to turn on. 

"Too bright." Cas laughed to himself, trying to smooth down his hair, which got caught in the small winds on his way to work. 

Tiffany walked through the door, ready to help Cas. Her eyes were nearly the same stunning blue as Cas', only they were darker. 

Cas pointed to the coffee maker, checking his phone as Tiffany started the coffee going, the smell wafting through the tiny and cozy shop.

 

The literal atmosphere of the little coffee shop smelled of coffee grounds and doughnuts, but that soon changed as more and more people came in as the morning wore on.

Tiffany and Castiel were swamped a little more than usual, desperate eye contact made with anyone possible.

Cas stood, pumping whipped cream into a hot chocolate with caramel drizzled into it, one of their most popular drinks. He smiled, staring into this strangers deep brown eyes with no jolts.

Both of them seemed to falter in their grin, mumbling pleasantries before they separated never to think of each other again. Castiel let out a sigh, "Hmn...."

He wished more than anyone, it seemed, to have a soulmate. Out of all the desperate eyes looking about the lobby, none seemed as desperate as his own dazzling blue.

If only...

The man glanced over to his co-worker, Tiffany. She had found her soulmate only three weeks ago.

Aging seemed nice...

 

Dean, on the other hand, bustled down the street, looking into every window. "Hot chocolate." He grinned, seeing the special in the window to a shop called Safe Haven. 

"Odd name, hey ma'am? How good is the hot chocolate here?" He asked an older lady as she came out. She didn't answer but her eyes said it all. 

"Must be amazing, getting to age." He sighed as the old lady left. "Might as well, it's cold." He laughed to himself, nearly busting the door open to get out of the cold. 

There a was blonde working the counter, and a dark haired man with his back turned to dean, who was rushing to get a drink to the drive-through. 

When she looked up, he saw her eyes. It looked like the dazzling eyes he saw in his dream. "Uh...Tiffany? Can I get the special?" He asked, confused as to why he didn't feel a jolt from Tiffany. 

"Name?" She asked, but quickly passed the cup off to Cas. 

"Sorry about that. Can I get your name?" Cas asked, not looking up from the cup. 

"Dean." He said simply, yawning that who he thought was his soulmate just walked away. "That Tiffany chicks a doll, ain't she?" Dean laughed.

 

Castiel merely responded with a small hum, scribbling 'Dean' in blue sharpie. His hand flicking a check mark by the category of this guy's order.

Of course this customer was trying to see if Tiff was his soulmate. 

Dean eyed Tiffany, a look of curiosity on his features and a glint in his eye. Maybe her real name was Cas, and Tiffany just happened to be another workers name tag cause hers was lost.

There is nothing wrong with being optimistic.

He glanced to Castiel when the whirring of the hot chocolate machine came to life. "Hey, blue eyes."

Castiel straightened, turning around. "Excuse me?" Did this stranger just call him...blue eyes?

 

Dean had been meaning to get Tiffany's attention, but instead attracted Cas' glance. The minute they locked eyes, Dean’s skin crawled. His breathing hitched. His heart fluttered. 

"Oh, god." 

Dean didn't understand. Him? No way. Dean wasn't gay, was he? He didn't think he was. 

"Uh, your....co worker." He mumbled, still not able to find his way out of that deep blue. How was that color even possible?

Dean watched, mouth slightly agape, as Cas moved closer to give Dean his drink. "3.50." Cas said, getting nervous at what he was feeling. 

Was that his soulmate? Had he finally found his soulmate? Cas was ecstatic.

 

Castiel was utterly indifferent to sexual orientation, so the homosexual appeal to this encounter didn't phase him.

A smile passed over his lips, hand lingering on the cup a moment longer. Alas, the connection was severed when Dean pulled back.

"....Of...course. Uh, give me a minute." Dean fumbled about his pocket for the right amount of change. In his haste he managed to do several things.

The first, was scatter coins all about the floor because his fluster made him shaky. Damn these trembling hands, you'd never do this on normal occasions!

Then again, this was far from a normal occasion.

Second, he managed to spill his hot chocolate all over the counter and floor when he went to bend over to get the lost change.

 

Cas jumped slightly as the drink spilt on the floor. Cas scrambled to make a new one, watching as Tiffany rushed to clean it up. 

Cas laughed slightly at how clumsy his soulmate was. How clumsy Dean was. "Uh, here. You're good, I'll pay for it." He said, making sure Dean had a good grip on the cup before he let go. 

Cas always admired his own eyes, but when he saw Dean's, he was drowning in the Emerald color. 

"What are you doing, having a staring contest? We have customers!" Tiffany urged, startling Cas as he jumped back to the counter. 

Cas felt his heart drop he had to leave Dean. Luckily, his shift was over soon. He hoped Dean didn't leave, but that was a fat chance. 

Dean probably had things to do, places to be. He was a human being, after all. 

One can hope…

 

Dean made sure to grip this cup tight like he was raising it from perdition, whatever that meant.

He made sure to apologize, and despite Cas saying he'd pay for it he slid a five into the tip jar with a nod at.....Cas.

He still got that tickle when he said the name, but even thinking it was sending shocks of little electrical bolts through him. 

And don't get him started on when he looked at the guy. That was a whole new quadrant of feeling.

But Cas was a dude. Male. Craig between the leg. Dean wasn't into that right?! He'd only been with girls his whole life. 

Dean was troubled as he sent one last apology towards the coffee shop workers, exiting the shop.

Tiffany glared daggers at Castiel as she dumped wads of paper towel into the trash bin.

"What was that guy’s deal? He didn't even offer to help, like he was in a trance or something." She complained. When she noticed Cas was staring off into space at the entrance door, Tiffany huffed and snapped her fingers to bring him back to earth.

"You. Hey, Cas. Castiel."

The blue eyed man blinked, shaking his head. "S-Sorry what.........I... Tiffany....I think I found my soulmate..."

 

Tiffany's dark expression softened slowly, becoming a giddy smile after a while. 

"Awww, Classy Cassy's got a boyfriend!" She teased, earning herself a light punch in their arm. 

Cas took care of the rest of the customers before his shift ended. Tiffany was too busy smiling like an idiot to help. 

"My Cassy found his soulmate!" She would yell after nearly every customer. 

Tiffany was pretty much his sister, and you can bet she wouldn't let this go. Like, ever. She poked him in the ribs as Cas went to hang his uniform up. Cas left Safe Haven at precisely 4:13 in the afternoon. 

Cas was sure that Dean went home. But boy, Cas was wrong. Dean was sitting right there, at the boardwalk! Cas could only tell by the "walking-on-the-clouds" feeling he got when he saw him.

 

He decided to just admire the other man for a moment. Their meeting in the shop had been very brief and hectic.

Besides the charming green eyes, Dean had shorted hair that was a unique dirty blonde shade. You could almost classify it as light brown. 

The man wore a flannel over a simple shirt, but on top of that he sported a brown leather jacket that looked worn for wear. Basic jeans and boots finished the look, and Cas was moderately impressed.

"Dean, huh...." The words danced over his lips with a little spark of emotion. Cas couldn't help but smile. 

He watched as Dean turned around, apparently noticing he was being stared at, and the two locked eyes for the second time that day.

 

Once Dean had done so, he went into a coughing fit, severing the wondrous eye contact. Just his luck. 

Cas rushed over, unsure of what to do. By the time he got over to Dean, he was fine. Cas wondered if he had pretended to do that to get him over to the bench. 

"Uh..hi." Cas said awkwardly. "I'm...Cas." He mumbled, dropping his head in embarrassment. 

Dean pawed at his face and stood up from the bench he was sitting in, before moving ever-so-slightly to be in front of Cas. "I know." Dean laughed. 

"Oh, right. My name tag an-" Cas started, feeling like a fool. 

"Not your name tag. Just your name. I said it, and it took off with me." Dean said. He was acting so unlike himself. He would have never said something that sappy.

 

Cas's face flushed crimson, a small smile making it's way across his face. "Oh really now?"

The older man, that being Cas, found it flattering to be regarded in such a way by such an attractive man.

"Uhm.... sure. Yeah, sorry." A flustered Dean stuttered, taking a sip of his semi-cold chocolate beverage to act as a distraction.

You're a fool Dean.  
A fool who found his soulmate after so many years and now you're ruining it.

Wait. Can one ruin a soulmates bond? Would that be like changing destiny?

Castiel smiled fondly, finding Dean's chaos slightly adorable.

He came off as the kind of strong and silent guys, and Castiel had the honor of watching that unravel in a great way.

Through love.


	3. Unacceptable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember neither I, nor my co-writer, are against gays, we are just making Dean upset because he doesn't understand, thanks!

Dean ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair, the calloused tips sifting through soft locks. 

He was....gay.

He shifted on his seat at his makeshift dining table, a bottle of unlabelled alcohol in his hand. The contents swirling as his hand shook, foot tapping restlessly.

Dean had heard of the things people did to 'faggots'. They were hated, murdered, some even lost jobs. Would he lose his job at the site? Sure he didn't like it there much anyway but it sufficed. What about Sammy? What was he supposed to tell him?

The green eyed man groaned, "Son of a bitch."

He decided making himself over anxious about it wasn't going to make it go away. He'd think about it later. Dean took a swallow of his drink, standing.

Maybe a little tv would get his mind off things.

 

Dean switched through the channels. Famous weddings, celebrities finding their soulmate, and some cooking channel Dean didn't dare stay on too long. 

"That's it? Not even a race, or some crappy re-run of a sitcom?" Dean grumbled, swirling the bottle around and around. 

"Why though?" He questioned again. Why was he gay? Why did he have the misfortune of being gay?

"No, I am not gay. I'm not. This is some big joke. Haha, very funny." He said to the ceiling. "I know my soulmate is out there, I know she is." He grumbled. 

"God, please don't kill me." He said. "I'm not going to die, cause I'm not gay." Dean shook his head. Was he really talking to himself? Again? He was going crazy. "I'm not gay." He said finally, looking out of the window.

 

He watched as the sun shone high in the noon sky, it's rays reflecting off of the window glass. Clouds made of fine strands wisped through the sky like strands of cotton candy.

"I'm.... not gay." 

How many times was he going to have to say that for it to be true?

A growl escaped him, clutching the bottle, and rolled his eyes up to glare at the ceiling like it killed his mom or something. 

"......" Dean sighed again, whipping out his little flip cell phone, and dialed his brothers number.

Ring...  
Ring....  
Ri---

"Dean?"

Dean exhaled, shifting. "Hey Sammy."

 

"Hey Dean." Sammy breathed. "What's up?"

"I found my soulmate." Dean sighed into the phone. This was just some sick dream. 

"And why do you sound so disappointed?" Sam laughed, drumming his fingers on his desk. 

"I'm not gay." He said, like Sam would understand. "There's no way I'm gay. I like girls. I'm straight. Straight like the sidewalk outside." He said, wondering what kind of metaphor that was. 

Sam was silent for a moment. "What?" He asked, confusion tainting his voice. "What do you mean?"

 

Dean ran a tired hand across his face, feeling the stubble their and contemplated on shaving it or not. 

He tapped his bottle on his forearm, sighing heavily. "Well, I said a name. Got a little tickle, ya know? And uh..."

"What? Come on, Dean!"

Dean grunted a bit at his baby brothers anticipation. "And it's just that Sammy. My soulmate is a dude."

Dean coughed a bit, glancing at the tv and stared at the irrelevant content. 

Maybe he should subscribe to that porn channel.... Then he could just stay holed up in his home as an 18 year old forever and----

"Dean, did you hear me?"

 

Dean snapped back. "Huh?" He asked, voice cracking slightly. He would definitely NOT miss that when he aged. 

"I said what's wrong with that?" Sam asked, concern trickling through the phone and into Dean's head. The words echoed over and over again. 

"Uh.." Dean didn't really have an answer. Not yet, at least. "Because I'm a guy! I'm supposed to like girls! That's how it's supposed to be!" He huffed angrily, slamming his bottle down onto the table. Bad choice. 

"Great." Dean mumbled, ignoring Sam's babbling. 

"Dean! There is nothing wrong with that? What has gotten into you?" Sam asked hurriedly.

 

Dean eyed the mess for a moment, lost in aimless thought, then sighed and rubbed his knee.

"Just ain't me, Sam." 

He stood up, phone clutched between his ear and shoulder, bending down to clean up the bottle shards and spilt alcohol.

"Dean, it's okay if you're.....gay. Okay?" Sam said in an attempt to soothe Dean. 

Dean shook his head, picking up little bits and pieces of glass. "I'll talk to you later Sam." 

"Dean, wait---" But the chance was gone, a click and beep sounding as the 'elder' ended the call.

"Damn it...." Dean muttered.

 

"I'm not gay!" He huffed again, throwing his shoe at the wall. 

"If I were gay, I would be able to tell. This has to be some cruel joke." He checked his body for electric shock wires, anything of the sort that might have done that to him. 

"Cas." He said angrily, dreading the otherwise ecstatic feeling it gave him. 

"This isn't how it's supposed to go!" He yelled, throwing his shoes back on. "Maybe fresh air.." He mumbled to himself, stepping foot out right as the sun set completely.

Wait....sunset? Had time really gone by so fast? A sudden wave of calm came across him, and he swallowed.

It was a pretty sight. The tangerine sin dipping behind dark purple horizon. Red coloring the sky like blood, the clouds now a darker grey and more plenty.

His breath puffed in front of him, and Dean thought momentarily about if he should have worn a coat. 

Boots scraping on concrete, Dean shoved his hands into his jean pockets and walked.

Just walked. 

He thought about the oast several years, how he had longed and searched every day for a soulmate. Dean had one now, but why was it bothering him so, just because it was a man?

He remembered something from when he was little, sitting at the lunch table in a school cafeteria. The children would kiss each others cheeks, or shout each others names, like they were finding their soulmates.

Dean had sat with this one girl....Robin. He had loved her so....even as just a sixteen year old. They had had good times

He found his thoughts drifting further, deeper into the memory.

Robin was amazing. How he would give anything to have her. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad, be wanted to bargain anything to get her. 

But she had already found her soulmate too. His name was Nikko. Nikko Sota, soulmate to Robin. Dean had to admit, he wasn't that bad of a person, but e would give anything, DO anything to have his spot. 

Dean felt back for him. For Cas. Because Cas was stuck with this sad excuse of a soulmate. He was a terrible person, but he thought he deserved a girl.

A girl that would sit with him and watch a race, a girl who would eat macaroni with him, and laugh at his corny jokes. 

"What did I do to deserve this?" He asked himself softly, snapping back to reality. When did he get to the beach? 

"I must have messed up bad." He grumbled. "Where did I go wrong?" 

Dean was beyond upset. He was in near hysterics. "Please! I don't deserve this!" He shouted to the sky.


	4. His People Skills Are Rusty

Cas awoke to his alarm. As usual. It sat there, flashing 6:00, emitting its wail of agony and despair it brought to anyone who heard it. It sounded its alarm, mocking him as he fumbled for the button. 

"Shush.." Cas whispered to the clock, getting up to make breakfast. Cheerios? No, too bland. Lucky Charms? Nah, he didn't like the taste of the marshmallows at the moment. Mini Wheats? 

Seemed right. Cas poured the cereal into a bowl, blindly reaching for the milk, eyes half closed. He unscrewed the cap and poured the....orange juice?

"Really?" Cas sighed, tossing the ruined food into the trash. "Milk." Cas grunted, grabbing the correct container this time. 

He redid his cereal, eating it slower than usual. When he had finally finished, he scrambled to get ready, in fear of being late.

 

Cas ran to the bedroom, throwing on his uniform, and a random blue tie. Scrambling around for his apron, he snatched the bundled cloth up and beelined back down the hallway. 

"Keys, keys, keys...." Cas's stunning blue eyes flickered around with the speed of a hummingbird's wings. He finally spotted them, quick to scoop them up and be out the door to his blue Prius.

He was classy, he admitted. There was nothing wrong with modern cars though, and of course it was a light shade of blue.

Tiffany often made fun of him for the vehicle, but Cas didn't have the time to reflect on this. Swerving out of the parking space, he began his trek to the coffee shop.

Safe Haven was a 15 minutes drive away, and he had to be there in less than 7....

He was damned.

 

Cas was surprised he didn't get pulled over from how fast he was going. "Tiff! I'm here! Sorry!" He called, realizing he was 5 minutes late to being 20 minutes early. 

He snorted at the empty room and began his daily duties. Cleaning the counters, starting the coffee, bringing in the doughnuts from the fresh delivery, that kind of stuff. 

10 minutes go by. No Tiffany. "Huh." He hummed, deciding to open early. A customer or two came in for their special, but other than that it was quiet. 

That was, quiet until he looked outside. He dropped a cup in his shock, cleaning it up hastefully as he started a new cup, not taking his eyes off of the person outside.

 

Dean.

The name immediately shot into his head like a bullet, and a smile cut across his face with a knife. Outside across the street a little ways to the small park there, was his soulmate.

Dean was sitting at a bench, a water bottle clutched in one hand and he seemed to be staring at a group of kids playing near the swings.

Oh god, his soulmate wasn't a child stalker was he?! The thought made him uncomfortable, but knew this couldn't be the case.

Glancing at the clock, and still no sign of Tiffany, Cas set his cup down and exited his counter space. There were only a couple of customers, so leaving wasn't too big of a deal, right?

With fast feet, a pounding heart, and a smile to light up the cloudy morning, Cas walked out of the shop, and to the man on the bench.

 

"Dean?" He tested softly, hovering right behind him. Be probably should have gone with a less creepy approach, because the sudden voice ads Dean jump, coughing on water. 

"God Damn." He choked, barely able to breath proper. Cas stood helplessly. 

"Oh m gosh, I'm so sorry-" Cas started, only to be cut of by Dean's hand. He waited patiently for Dean to speak, once he was able to breathe again. 

"What are you doing out here?" Cas asked softly, looking back at the kids. He could see Dean's face grow red and hot with embarrassment. Dean ducked his head slightly. 

"Uh, do I have to be honest?" He asked, watching Cas nod. "I was just wondering what it would be like to have my own kids. You know, with my soulmate, and all." He sighed at the last part. 

If he was stuck with Cas, they would never have kids. Not biological kids, anyway. That upset him.

He wanted to have a baby, one that could sit in the back of the impala and complain about the chicken nuggets they won't eat. Dean wanted a kid he could show the rounds to, to raise and be proud of.

He wanted to be the better father that his own never was, and he wanted to leave a legacy. Be it son or daughter. 

".... it'd be...nice, ya know?" Dean looked to the group of kids as their parents came to disperse them as it was time to go.

Cas followed the gaze, eyes remaining on the kids until they disappeared into vehicles, and were out of sight. 

"....oh." Cas said blankly, fiddling with a string on his sleeve. "Yeah, I guess."

Cas felt terrible. He knew most people could have children with their soulmate. But not them. Cas wasn't as bothered by it, but he could see the hurt in his eyes. 

If he had to be honest, it hurt Cas to see such stunning eyes clouded with disappointment. Cas sat down next to Dean, wondering if it was to early for this. 

He stared up at Dean, watching his jaw clench and unclench. "Is.." he stopped to choose his words carefully. "Is that all that's bothering you?"

It was obvious that Dean was upset by something, but Cas knew it wasn't about the kids. Maybe a little bit, but most of his mood seemed to be coming from something else.

Dean swallowed, adams apple bobbing in response. His eyes squinted a little, lips parted a bit.

"Uh...yeah, no. I guess that's not it." He sighed, looking down and rubbed his cheek.

Why did he suddenly feel like he could trust Cas so much? Did he just admit to weakness?

Dean glanced at his blue eyed soulmate, "...just tryin' to wrap my head around the whole...." He made a blank motion of his arms. "....thing."

Cas understood immediately. Dean obviously must have defined as straight.

The realization broke Cas' heart even more, and for a second time he let out a feeble, "....oh."

Cas felt terrible. Awful. Pathetic. He felt like this was his fault. "I-I'm sorry." He said, feeling like an utter failure. 

Dean was startled by Cas' reaction. "It ain't our fault, you know, I was just hoping...." Dean decided then would be the best time to stop talking. He had already caused enough damage. 

"It's fine. Really. I just have to get back to work." Cas said, standing up and rushing back to Safe Haven before Dean could say or do anything else. 

"That went terribly." Cas sighed, shutting the door behind him.


	5. Pizza and Purses

Cas sighed, absentmindedly stirring the whip cream in his hot chocolate until it was a dull, milky substance. He'd discovered Tiffany was down with a bad flu, which explained her absence.

It wasn't busy in the small shop, and towards the end of his shift he caught himself staring at the empty bench across the street.

'Dean must have gone home...' he thought to himself, deflated.

When his shift ended, he discarded his apron, checked out, and made to leave. Cas worked a half day today, so locking up wasn't necessary.

 

"Hmn..." He sighed, exhaling the cool autumn air and put his hands in the pockets of his trenchcoat.

Wind brushed his hair across his forehead, making him shiver, and he turned to walk the other direction....

"Hey, Cas." Said a sudden voice, that belonged to the sudden man in front of him.

His blue eyes widened as they met charming emerald, "Dean." Cas breathed.

Cas felt a wave of emotion wash over him. The one that stuck out like a sore thumb was nervousness. He wasn't sure why Dean had come up to him, especially after Cas had managed to disappoint his only soulmate. 

Cas backed up slightly, trying to give him the space he needed, but it didn't seem like that was what he wanted. "Dean, I-" he said, trying to explain that he just wanted to get home. 

His car was right there. That little blue Prius was sitting right there. He could easily get to it if he wanted. 

"Cas, shut up. I made a mistake." Dean said, following Cas' movements. "I shouldn't have brought that up." He said. Dean wasn't one to apologize, and this was definitely taking a toll on him. 

"I'm-I-uh..." Dean stuttered, trying his best to get those two words out. 

"Cas, I'm sorry," He said finally, ready to continue on his rant. "I just, I-"

But the rant was cut off abruptly, Dean's mouth still a bit open and he glared at something behind Cas's shoulder.

The coffee shop worker paused, blinking at his soulmate. "...You just...what?" Cas asked incredulously.

"That guy....he look suspicious to you?" Dean asked, stepping aside. This allowed for Cas to turn and eye the man several feet away, seeing him inching closer to an attractive woman.

"I...guess." He responded.

Dean's hand went to his pocket momentarily, slowly walking up to the strange man. 

He wasn't expecting a fight today, but as soon as the man grabbed the woman's purse, Dean's instinct kicked in.

Cas wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't exactly built for helping with that. He watched nervously as Dean got up in the man's face, before delivering a swift kick to the attacker's shin, dropping him to the floor. 

"Dean!" Cas hissed, backing toward the car. He wasn't too keen on watching this. 

Dean kept the guy on the floor, prying the leather bag out of his hand as he handed it back to the blonde woman. 

"Oh, thank you so much!" She said, pressing a kiss to Dean's cheek as she ran off. 

Cas' heart dropped when he saw that. He knew it didn't mean anything, but it still tugged on him. He leaned against his car, fumbling with the key, trying to avoid Dean's stare. 

"Sorry about that." Dean said, walking over to Cas.

As he walked, he scratched the back of his head. "He was gonna steal that, ya know?"

Cas swallowed, nodding. "I....yeah. Yeah, I know."

Dean could feel unease creeping up on him, "...sorry." 

He just fucked up didn't he? He must have just scared Cas into thinking he was some psycho that picked street fights.

Dammit, Dean.

Castiel glanced at his car, squeezing the button in his pocket that unlocked the doors. 

"I was just heading home."

Dean saw the slight movement in his pocket. "Whatcha got there?" He asked, pointing to Cas' pocket, half worried it might be a weapon. 

Cas rested his gaze where Dean had pointed. "Huh? Just my keys." He said, pulling his hand out of his pocket to reveal a set of keys. 

Dean sighed in relief, trying to shake the uneasiness. "Any possible chance I could come with you?" He asked, trying to not sound awkward. He had never talked to a guy like this. 

Cas thought for a moment. He wasn't sure if he wanted Dean at his place. It was somewhat messy. And by messy, I mean papers were out of place and there was a book or two off of his shelf. "I don't know.." he mumbled.

Dean sighed, nodding quickly."That's... that's okay. I'm a strange guy, that just beat up another strange guy. You're uncomfortable...I get it."

Yeah, he has officially blown it with his soulmate. Damn it.

Dean cleared his throat apologetically, nodding once.

"... I'll be going then." He muttered, slipping passed Cas and starting the other way. Curses flowed through his mind.

Just as he was accepting his homosexually, it becomes pointless.

"Wait, I mean-" Cas said, following after him. "You can, I guess. But it isn't exactly clean." He said, dropping his head in embarrassment. 

Dean scanned him over, watching Cas' movements. He was cute when he got flustered. "You own a Prius?" He teased, lightly tapping his shoulder. 

Cas became more flustered. "Yeah, it was-my mom-I-" Cas didn't know what to say, so he just kept his head down.

Dean felt boldness creep up on him, and he brushed his finger along Cas's chin and lifted it.

"Hey, I'm kidding, blue eyes." Dean smirked.

Cas felt a tingle go through him, lips twitching as he was about to say something but Dean had already released him.

Calm down, heart. It was fluttering, and Cas couldn't help a smile.

"See, now I know you weren't referring to Tiffany." He chuckled.

This made Dean grin, "Maybe, instead of your house, we can go somewhere? A bar, movie?"

"I mean, we could, I guess." He said, praying that Dean didn't want to go to a bar. Cas didn't like to admit it, but he was somewhat of a lightweight. 

Dean laughed at how feeble Cas was. His own soulmate, so tiny and fragile. He snickered at the thought. "Well, I'm good going wherever." Dean sighed, hand unknowingly hovering over Cas'. 

Cas nodded, thinking of any place he could. "I've seen most of the new movies." He mumbled, mentally crossing the theatre off the list. 

"Are you sure you don't have an idea?" Cas asked wearily. He was very indecisive at the moment.

Dean smirked, thinking for a moment. There was so much they could do.

The bar and movies was off the list, apparently. Cas was probably to soft for game hunting. And according to his previous dates, shooting deer isn't really first date material.

What else could they do?

Bowling, Mini golf? He started thinking back to movies he watched in the past, and past dates. 

One immediately stuck out to him and he clapped his hands together, grinning wide.

"Wanna go to this make your own pizza shop? It opened up last week."

"Uh, sure." He said finally. "You're just gonna have to tell me where to go." He laughed, popping open the passenger seat for Dean. 

He took the seat gracefully, pulling the door closed while he waited for Cas to walk around the car, getting in himself. 

"If you want the radio, you can mess with it." Cas said quietly, turning the key. 

Dean didn't dare touch anything of Cas'. He only touched it after Cas had turned it on, but felt like Cas wouldn't like the music he listened to. 

"Did you hear me?" Cas asked, looking over at him. "Where am I going?"

Dean had been staring, admittedly. Not really at Cas but....at Cas.

How he dressed up so formally for his simple barista job, at the softness of his hair. The long trenchcoat that went past his knees. Dean stared at the cup holder with change discarded into it over time. The radio that was set to and Indies station.

He'd have to introduce his soulmate to good music.

Castiel frowned, shifting slightly to subtly get Dean's attention, "Are you okay?"

Dean looked up quickly, nodding. "Yeah, I'm good. Sorry, uh...left here."

He admired the little angel hanging from the mirror to see into the back. Was Cas religious?

Castiel turned as instructed, glancing to Dean and back at the rode.

Cas raised an eyebrow at him, looking around. "Have you ever been there?" He asked, making another turn as he was instructed. 

Dean shook his head, laughing as he did. "That's why we're going now." He sighed. 

Dean didn't want to listen to the radio anymore. Just to Cas. He reached over and quickly turned the softly playing music off, staring back at Cas. 

"Dean. Are you sure there isn't something wrong?" He asked, turning his head, but still keeping his eyes glued to the road.

The answer to that was simple. Holy hell was he not okay.

He, Dean Winchester, was really starting to notice Cas and it was doing some weird things to him.

The intensity of the blue in Cas's eyes, yet somehow they managed to be soft and overwhelming. That was the real kicker.

He swallowed, "Yeah, Yeah. I'm just... nervous." Did he just admit to that? Dean rubbed his jaw, "I dunno, I'm just....maybe it's the soulmate thing."

Castiel frowned, brows coming together slightly. Was Dean still upset about his soulmate being a man?

The green eyed beauty caught onto his apprehensive manner, "N-Not about us, j-just. Ugh, you. Like...I can't control my brain."

Dean, shut up.

"I mean...your eyes.."

Cas briefed a look to Dean, "What about my eyes?"

Dean gasped slightly, forgetting they were driving. "Uh, nothing." He frowned when Cas turned back to the road. 

Cas laughed slightly. Dean didn't seem like he was one to get flustered like this. "Right here?" He asked, pointing with his hand, wrist resting on the top of the steering wheel as he turned it to pull into the parking lot. 

"Yeah, this looks like it." Dean said, still not taking his eyes off of Cas. 

Cas could feel Dean's eyes burning into him. It was slightly uncomfortable. "Dean." He said again, getting out of the car.

Dean was out quickly, and not just because he couldn't stare at Cas anymore. 

"Yeah, I'm coming." He said, opening the door and slipped out. He closed it with a small thud, smiling at Cas. "Ready?"

Cas nodded, watching Dean carefully, like the man would do something. Though what that was he wasn't sure. 

Dean came around the side of the vehicle, offering his hand to Cas. 

"Is this okay?"

"I don't see why not." He smirked, taking his hand as he got out. "I didn't think this would be your kinda thing." He laughed, letting go of Dean. He felt his fingers grow cold, and he became impatient with the lack of touch. 

He took this time to study Dean. The way he held himself, how he fit the worn out leather, how his eyes, dazzling like his, stuck out like a star, dancing through the sky. 

Dean nodded, noticing how Cas was staring at him. That was when he realized that it was probably a Soulmate thing. 

"Whatcha staring at, Cas?" He asked.

The blue eyed man blinked, then his eyes widened as he realized he was caught. Cas looked away, face red and lips pursed. “...Um. Nothing.”

Dean tilted his head, and silently grabbed Castiel's hand again, encouraged when the other didn't protest the action. 

The rest of their date was fun, to be not so descriptive. 

Dean and Cas sat at their little booth, and the waiters brought out little bowls of various toppings. Along with dough spread and stretched across a wooden board.

Their pizza was an absolute mess by the time the last pair were done with it.  
The dough was smooshed up in one side, and that could be blamed on Dean's elbow.

The left side of the pizza was very organized, and seemed to have reasoning behind the toppings and how they were placed. That side was Cas’s.

Deans side in the other hand… the toppings were seemingly randomized, and the way they were placed was in quite the same condition. It was a disaster.

As the pizza was taken to the back and baked, then returned, Dean and Cas were conversing comfortably. No topic held for longer than two minutes, but it flowed. Dean had abandoned his side of the pizza, which was useless to eat, and the two of them finished off Castiel's side.

“That was fun, Dean, thank you.” The blue eyed man said, eyes crinkling at the corners. He was physically 18, but Cas was intelligent beyond his years.

Cas could look at Dean now and just know that those green eyes were meant to stare into his own every morning.

Truly, they were soulmates.

After giving Dean a ride home, with much disappointment that they had to depart, Cas made his own way back to his living quarters.

What he did realize….was he never even asked for Dean's number.


End file.
